Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
