I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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