I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
