saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
