There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
