I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
