There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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