yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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