Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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