Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
