did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
