I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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