i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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