the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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