Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
