respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
