I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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