It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
