Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
