I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
