You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
