Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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