wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
