sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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