he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
