3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
