I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
