We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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