halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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