a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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