11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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