kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
