i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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