How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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