i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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