I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
