Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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