Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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