Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
