FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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