I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
accomplished twins. life is a go
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
