i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
