Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
