so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
