from now on my penis is your penis
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize