she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
