she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
