Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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