im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
