I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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