just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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