don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
