Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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