even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
