How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
