Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
