He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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