My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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