I skipped work to stalk him.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
