Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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