I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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