is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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